death | Asia Reviewer Maniac

Hey guys!! Today’s question may have a really sad and disappointing answer…

I am actually afraid of heights, but that’s about it. I’ve had a fear of heights ever since I was young, and I haven’t been able to get over it since. But apart from that, there really isn’t much that I am afraid of in a ‘common’ sense.

Apart from this. Below I have quoted from Cry (Cryaotic), a fellow YouTuber who I adore and admire. He is absolutely inspiring, and I just wanted to quote a Tumblr post he wrote a couple of weeks ago.

What am I afraid of?

That’s a common question I have heard throughout my days. What truly scares me?

This is what scares me.

Being startled awake in the middle of the night by the howls of your dogs. Their barks incessant and almost endless as you lay there in your bed, eyes wide and heart racing. The barking continues on for a time more until it lowers to a steady, but still prominent growl as you are left there wondering. You drift asleep, and it soon happens again. Glass shatters. The dogs are now silent. Footsteps.

Walking past the open door to your child’s or little sibling’s room as you are on your way to grab a drink or maybe go watch television. They are sleeping so you go in to turn off their TV and you notice their little chest isn’t rising and falling anymore. They’re stiff, cold, and lifeless.

Leaving your child in the care of a trusted babysitter. Going out to dinner and a movie with the significant other but finding the movie a bore and returning early. Opening the door to your home to find the man living out his sick, demented fantasies at the cost of your child’s mental and physical turmoil.

Getting into your vehicle, all is fine and well, you drive to work and you take a turn around a corner with too much overgrowth blocking your view. Thud. Scream. Getting out of your car you find a mother screaming in a shrill as she holds her now limp, crushed child.

Living a life of normality, things come and go. Suddenly one things goes south, more follow, and you find yourself in a great amount of debt. Your once ‘always there’ friends curiously gone as you now find yourself homeless on the side of the road. People walking past you, ignoring your existence and treating you as sub-human, a blemish of society. Unworthy of compassion. Left to strive to get back into society only to fail again and again, destined to wither away in the end on a cold winter night under a bridge. The years pass and you’re forgotten, no family or friends, just a human who lived, and a human who died.

Driving with your family to a concert, everyone’s cheering, smiling, happy. Your sister and brother in the backseat, your mother to your left, you in the front looking at the window as you cross a 4-way intersection. Headlights. Crash. Blackness. You wake up to find yourself in a hospital bed, you don’t know if you can move your body anymore. You soon learn your siblings didn’t make it, your mother is scarred, battered and soon becomes numb from painkillers and anti-depressants. Your family shattered.

You’re a child, growing up with a single mother who has been struggling to survive. You’re still young and know that because of this your mother fails to listen as you tell her her new boyfriend isn’t the man she thinks he is. The abuse begins. Unexplained bruises soon becoming highlighted as more join them. Your mother ignoring you still as she falls in deep with hard drugs her new boyfriend forced upon her, becoming but a shell of her former self just to feel accepted and ‘love’ from her new companion, forgetting all about you.

I’m afraid of reality. Not monsters. Not ghosts. Not impossibilities. I am afraid of the world in all of its honest terrors.

There is a lot of real horror in the world. The human mind being one of the scariest things on this green earth. Capable of the greatest things, and the darkest of any sins anyone’s god may speak of.

It’s nice to let go and feel a sense of fear from fictitious monsters and tales, but true moments of dread are all too common in our everyday lives.

We’re just lucky some of us haven’t had to live with them yet.

And if you have, I am so, so sorry.

This explains the common fears that have haunted my dreams for years. After losing my father 3 years ago, reality has haunted me with its ‘truths’ – that events such as the ones mentioned above happen to anyone, anywhere. The “honest terrors” that reality brings is frightening to imagine.

These are my fears. What are yours? If you want to share, leave a comment down below and let me know what you are afraid of.