2017 was a year of change, hardships and adjusting. Through this year, I’ve understood what many describe their first year out of uni to be like: daunting, frightening and just downright nerve-racking. I was always doubtful about it ever happening to me, but it sure hit me hard.
2017 has just been a rollercoaster ride for me, and it clearly had affected my performance in all areas of my life, whether that be my job or my relationships. There was much for me to despise about in the last year alone. From not launching myself into a teaching job in order to utilise my four year’s worth of uni study, to experiencing failed relationships time and time again. Even my literal dead presence on this blog alone says it all. Regardless of which aspect of my life it was, it just felt like a complete mess and fail. Not only to the others around me, but mostly to myself. I simply felt like a failure, and thought that I was indisputably one; someone who I wouldn’t be proud to associate myself with, or even admit to be.
In the area of Asian media, there was just as much to comment on and mourn over. From breakups to disbandments, 2017 wasn’t a great time for avid K-drama and K-pop fans alike. In particular, the recent loss of JongHyun reiterated to me again how we must cherish our loved ones, and ensure to ask each other if they are okay. For many I’m sure, it was a huge wake-up call to so many unspoken issues about the entertainment industry, as well as mental health. Please remember that caring about others is important, but always ensure that you yourself are also looked after. That that question alone could potentially save someone’s life one day. Rest In Peace my dear angel; you’ve done so well.
Despite all these negative thoughts though, I also acknowledge that there was also much to love about 2017.
Firstly, work. Yes, it isn’t what I had studied to become, but much that I had studied has been utilised in this new job. The work isn’t hard (only at times quite time-crunching and stressful) and the main thing that I am grateful for about this job is the amazing people I’ve met in this job. My co-workers are indeed the biggest gift this job could have given me, and I am forever thankful for their help, care and existence.
Next, my friendships. This was one area of my life that I had dreaded to test. I worried that the small group of friends that I had made in uni would have finished and disappeared by the time graduation occurred. But, not only did that not happen, I instead felt that we became even stronger than before. Everyone has taken their own path since finishing uni, but we still meet up, talk often and keep in touch with each other; being so up to date with each other in fact that it still feels like we had met for class just the other day. And of course with my closest friend Allan, I had only felt that we had become much bigger and dependable trees for each other. He will forever be my much needed rock in my life, and I can confidently admit that the feeling is definitely reciprocated. Love you Allan, always have and forever will.
And finally, my loving family. I felt that this year has allowed us to be the closest we have ever been. My family situation has always been complicated, despite how others may see us. In 2017, I felt that we have been the most open we had ever been. For me, I can definitely see this with my relationship with both my mum and my sister. Little sis this year has experienced so much, and she hasn’t held back in letting me know what has been going on, or what her next dilemma is. We’ve always been close despite our six year gap, but 2017 highlighted to me how much I really appreciate having a buddy at home to share moments and talk to. Having someone who shares the same flesh and blood and still being able to relate is just so much more different than just any friend. Love you little sis ❤
And of course my loving mother. Mum has been my biggest supporter, counsellor and the warmest and most loving blanket one could have ever asked for. There’s just been so much up and down for both of us, and I feel that we’ve only been able to have gotten through it all with the support and love we have given each other. For the longest time during my childhood, mum wasn’t the person that I could comfortable approach to ask for help. It was only after the passing of my father, that we both tried to rekindle out mother/daughter relationship. This year for sure has been the strongest we’ve been. We see each other as a rock for each other, and I now can freely approach my mum to tell her what’s going on, where say 5 years ago, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to. I kick myself every day for the years we’ve lost in the past, but I always make a self-conscious note to make up for it by being a filial daughter to her. 我爱您妈咪。多谢您的存在。如果没有您，就没有我。
I hope that 2018 will bring forth to me much better luck, fortune and just simply areas of improvement. I don’t aim to be the best that I could ever be, but just simply a better version of myself than before. Already towards the end of 2017, I can see the potential that 2018 may bring. I’ve picked up quite a couple of dramas that I’ve been following religiously, and I hope to produce my reviews quite soon. I anticipate for my mini holiday with two of my closest friends, the first time I’d ever be travelling out of state without my family. And a possible new love (but that might be too soon to say at this stage :P) who I had only met recently, but each day with his presence has brought much laughter and warmth that I haven’t experienced in so long.
With 2018, I see potential. I see hope, chance and opportunities. And so, that’s why I’m officially saying my farewells to 2017, and welcoming 2018 with open arms. See you all in the new year.
Goodbye 2017, hello 2018. Hope you will treat me well.