Hey everyone! I hope you all have been well, and I apologise for my lack of contact and activity on the blog. So so much has changed recently, and I’ve been trying to settle in and adapt to the changes.
In general, it’s been a while since I’ve written a post unrelated to reviews or ranting about some ‘minor’ pet peeves I may have with certain drama trends, but today I felt the urge to update the site with a post that encapsulates the current stress and major changes that I have encountered within the span of a couple of months.
So, around mid-December, I had finished my final prac for my education degree and officially graduated back in June (whoop whoop!). During that time, I was actively job hunting left, right and centre for the most suitable job for months. I wasn’t keen on launching myself into teaching anytime soon, and with certain issues regarding paperwork and my teaching license, I had to delay grabbing a teaching job for a couple of months.
Here I thought grabbing any job would be easy. I’ve completed a Bachelor’s degree, I’m young and have had years of work experience; how hard could it be to find a good paying job?
Oh how wrong I was. How very wrong I was about everything.
Long story short, finding a job that is somewhat related to an education degree (that isn’t teaching) is definitely something easier said than done. I had to be placed onto welfare payments while in search for a job, but for about a continuous 2-3 months, nothing was working out at all. By that point, I was starting to lose faith in myself, in my qualifications and my ability to even find a job. (And before you ask, my teaching number was taking awhile to be processed, so I couldn’t even apply for actual jobs at schools until that was settled. The estimated time for it to be completed ranged between 3-6 months D:)
I was starting to give up entirely. I made rash decisions, became someone who I was ashamed to admit. I was so desperate that I almost signed myself away to a 6 month volunteering program that didn’t allow me to find another job, and wanted me to sign up to it for full-time hours. Luckily I had my best friend knock some sense into me, and quickly pulled me out before it was too late.
I was starting to lose myself as a person. It also started to take a toll on my friends and family. Endless nights of just sitting in bed unable to sleep continued for weeks on end. There was a moment where I just broke down to a friend at 3am at night just pouring out my anger while sobbing, and I remember it so potently because that was when I was at possibly the lowest point in my life. It affected him as much as it did to me when even over the phone, I could hear him clearing his throat, trying to mask his tears for me.
Until one day, the agency I was visiting regularly to conduct job search activities at, decided to offer me a position that had recently opened up at the company itself. That was my opportunity, and I took it.
And from that point, everything moved as if it were a dream, literally.
I passed the phone interview, the face-to-face interview and even got passed the 2 reference checks stage; saying the process was rigorous would be considered an understatement. But at the end, I passed and actually got the job (seriously, how?!). I was ecstatic.
Now, 6 months on I’m still there, still learning new things and just loving my time there. I’ve passed probation with flying colours, and have been promoted (minor promotions) twice. Each and every colleague there I adore greatly; it’s almost unreal how friendly and nice they all are. Yes, I’m making mistakes and yes, there is at times where I wished I was elsewhere rather than at work, but really I couldn’t imagine myself being elsewhere right now. It’s amazing how well this job suits me. However, I fear it also. I fear the possibility of me getting too comfortable with the job. I fear myself losing the use of my degree entirely. But then again, I don’t think I do know for sure what I want. Do I want to hop back into a classroom and start teaching adolescents? To be honest…not really. But then again, do I hate teaching? Not exactly.
I swear, my mind is such a fickle thing. I guess what I need to truly ask is, does this current job provide me with the opportunities I seek? Do I see myself using my qualifications to the fullest somewhere in this company? Somewhere down the track I do see opportunities, either working with youths or teaching/training others skills that they’ll need in the workforce. So I guess there are opportunities here. Sure, it’s slightly indirect but hey, it’s better than nothing.
So I guess what this long-winded post is trying to get at is that for now, I’m fine with where I’m at. I’m okay with the fact that I could get comfortable here. If new opportunities arise, and they suit me, then I wouldn’t have a problem saying yes. But likewise, if I see that a better option for me is elsewhere, I would be unashamed to jump ship, especially if it’s an opportunity that was made just for me.
I’m hesitant for the future, but likewise excited. I see opportunities in work (and in relationships ;D) here. My family and my friends are happy for me, and likewise I’m happy for myself. Sure, some would say it’s a shame that I’m not teaching at the moment, but I would honestly say that thank goodness I’m not launching myself into there straight away. It gives me a moment to breath and think about all this, in the form of a productive manner that still pays the bills and makes the Asian parents happy. It will give me a chance to test myself, to see if I do indeed want to go into teaching. If not high school, why not primary? The opportunities I have with my degree are really flexible to work around.
So, thank you to all of you if you’ve stuck around to this point. I just really needed a moment to just let out some steam. The last couple of months have been really rough on me, and it’s nice to finally see the calm after the storm.
Hope you all have a lovely day/night, and I’ll catch ya’ll later!
❤ Hyunnie ^^~